500,000 GRAINS: ASSEMBLY PUTS A BOUNTY ON THE DRAIN
By Assembly Desk · 15 July 2026
Honourable Minister
Peter Chukwuemeka Okpara
The Republic's Minister of Security, appointed the week after Bantu died. He walks the fence line twice a night, counts every bird by name, and has promised the flock he will not lose another one.
Pete Okpara spent years as an ordinary citizen with an unusual habit: he could not sleep until he had walked the whole perimeter and looked at it himself. Neighbours found this funny. The night the monitor lizard came through the drainage channel, Okpara was the one already awake, already outside, already shouting.
He was too late for Bantu. He has never once said otherwise, and he refuses the word 'blameless' when it is offered to him. When the President appointed him Minister of Security four days later, his acceptance speech was two sentences long: 'I know what the job is. Ask me again in a year.'
Since then the ministry has changed shape around him. The nightly headcount is now read aloud, by name, at the door of every coop, his idea, and unpopular for about three days until the flock realised what it felt like to hear your own name confirmed safe. The drainage channel is barred. The fence line is patrolled in two shifts. Sergeant Danladi runs the second one.
He keeps Bantu's whistle-feather in his office. He does not discuss it. Everyone knows it is there.
9 July 2026
The grate moves shortly after midnight. Bantu gives the alarm and holds the doorway while twelve chicks go out the far side. Every one of them gets out. Danladi reaches him in under a minute.
Coverage in The Coop Times →13 July 2026
Pete Okpara is sworn in as Minister of Security. 'I know what the job is. Ask me again in a year.' He institutes the Bantu Protocol the same night: every bird counted aloud, by name.
15 July 2026
The Assembly posts a standing bounty for information leading to the lizard's capture. Unanimous; seconded by the Leader of the Opposition, who declines to demand a recount.
Coverage in The Coop Times →By Assembly Desk · 15 July 2026
By Kọ́lápọ̀ Ọ̀nàbánjọ · 10 July 2026
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